Unbreaded sandwich

It had been a long day at work for George. Being that it was summer, he had had hundreds of customers contacting both he and Moshe placing orders for plastic shovels and plastic buckets, while others were calling wondering where their orders were, which they had only placed the day before. Uncharacteristically, he was the last one to return to the nest. In fact, the rest of the family were already sitting at the dinner table waiting for him to show up. He had called Sybil a few minutes earlier to let her know he was on the way home.

“Go ahead and eat,” he said wearily. But Sybil knew there was one meal the entire family had to have together. Even the chicks accepted that with of course, the exception of Brenda. She didn’t understand why she couldn’t pick up her bottle of oat milk and Honey Nut Cheerios which she wanted to share with Wicket, who sat patiently on the edge of her tray praying that any minute now George would show up and they could eat. But, he had to wait for George to finally walk through the front door as did everyone else.

The family smiled when they heard the front door open and close with a deep sigh from the head of the family, followed by a thud as he dropped his briefcase and umbrella on the floor. George then dragged himself into the dining room to be greeted with a chorus of “hi daddy” and “hello darling,” from Sybil, while Brenda waved her wing. Wicket mumbled, “finally, what kept you?”

George was about to fall into his chair at the table but realised he hadn’t given Sybil her obligatory peck on the cheek. So, he raised himself again and planted a well directed kiss on her right cheek after which she feigned being overwhelmed by her husband’s enthusiasm. “Hello daddy!” shouted Rosa who sat on his right, while Julia echoed Rosa’s greeting from where she sat on his left. Timmy just smiled and Brenda waved her wing a little more. Wicket rolled his eyes mumbling, “can we get on with it? I’ll die of starvation if I don’t eat soon.” George smiled genuinely with the greetings and then looked at the usual feast Julia had made.

“My, what do we have here?” he asked knowing full well what was on the table, but he needed Julia to remind him.

“Roast lamb, mint sauce, smashed potatoes and local asparagus,” she eagerly told him. “Smashed?” he asked, “I know what mashed are, but what are smashed?”

“Mummy sat on the potatoes by accident,” replied Julia while Sybil tried to explain, but by then George had begun to smile. Welcome home he thought to himself. I can have a really hard day at work and all I have to do, is walk into the nest and all that stress is gone.

“You should’ve been here for lunch,” added Rosa who was not going to allow her sister to steal the show.

“Why is that?” asked George knowing that the result of Rosa’s reply would finally put an end to any remaining stress.

“We had unbreaded sandwiches.” George squeezed his eyelids tight to prevent himself from laughing before he asked the question. He took a deep breath while he formulated his response. Instead of turning to Rosa for an explanation, he repeated Rosa’s answer under his breath and turned to look at Sybil.

Before he could ask, Sybil replied, “a salad.”

Ok, thought George, in Rosa’s opinion a salad is a sandwich without the bread. Before everyone began to dig in, he wanted to know why his daughter had decided that a salad was a sandwich without the bread. He didn’t need to ask. All it took was a glance in her direction.

“Well daddy,” she explained using her usual logic. “It was a pile of lettuce and onions and tomatoes and on top of that was a piece of chicken.” She paused for a second. “See daddy,” she continued, “that’s what you have on a sandwich isn’t it?” George sat quietly for a second internalising Rosa’s explanation. Wait till the boys at work hear this one he thought and then finally replied.

“You are correct Rosa. On a chicken sandwich, you put a slice of roasted chicken and then tomato, onion and lettuce. But your logic …” It was too late. His answer had begun a discussion which threatened to get out of control with the feast still laying on the table uneaten. George raised his wing. “So, young lady,” he said, “did you eat any of the chicken in your unbreaded sandwich?”

“No daddy. You know better. I don’t eat chicken, it’s murder.”

“Ok,” he continued, “what did you do with the other stuff? You ate the lettuce?” he asked. “Yes daddy.”

“So, you’ll become a rabbit.”

“Better than a chicken, don’t you think?” she replied.

Julia had to jump in. “Dad, everybody’s dinner is probably already cold. Let’s not let it get colder.”

“You’re right, Julia. This looks really good,” She smiled as George pulled the platter closer to himself and put a couple of pieces on his plate. Sybil was next and then everyone helped themselves, but when it came to Rosa, she shook her head.

“What are you afraid of?” asked George, “becoming a lamb?”

“No daddy, we’re eating someone’s pet.”

Wicket jumped up and down and finally tipped over Brenda’s cereal bowl. He immediately dived in and came up for air a few seconds later. Sybil wasn’t amused, while the rest of the family began to eat. “We’ve got to get rid of that insect,” she said loudly enough for Wicket to clutch his breast and fall backwards.

“You hurt his feelings,” replied Rosa. But Sybil didn’t hear her as she had begun to eat in earnest.

“What are you going to eat?” asked George after telling Julia how wonderful the food was. “Nothing,” she replied.

“I understand no lamb, but how about the smashed potatoes?”

“Oh no! I don’t want to eat anything mummy sat on.”

George nodded still smiling, “how about the asparagus?”

“That’s grass daddy. I’ll just wait for dessert.”

“No dessert little one,” Sybil piped in, “until you’ve eaten your dinner.”

Rosa moaned and reached over and took a stalk of asparagus, while the rest ate their dinner in silence. “Darling, maybe you’ve found your calling in life, or at least when it comes to cooking. Maybe you can sit on some more stuff, the potatoes are excellent.”

Suddenly, Wicket jumped up laughing his head off and the rest followed suit. He then jumped onto the table and looked at the potatoes while Rosa picked up a spoon and put some potato on it. She then offered it to Wicket. He turned to look at Sybil, but before he could say anything, Sybil cut him off.

“Look here insect,” she said, “I could sit on you and that would be the end of you.” Everyone laughed. Rosa ate the rest of the potatoes on the spoon.

“Yummy,” she said, “these are good.”

Wicket lowered his head and walked back to Brenda’s tray and hopped on to it. He had to content himself with eating her cereal.